The year 2020 did not start out how I would of imagined. I had just closed out our Change Christmas production, celebrated Christmas with our family, and rang in the new year with some close friends. Once the festivities ended, life got hard and things I never imagined began to happen. From back to back doctor appointments, to my oldest getting a concussion and the fears that brought because of her spina bifida, to going back and forth with the teachers with new accommodations at school, to getting word my pop-pop wasn’t doing well, and lastly my mother in law who has stage 4 lung cancer needing to move in with us. It was A LOT and I felt like I was drowning. That devil was looking for any chance he could to come in to my life like a flood and try to steal whatever joy, confidence, and strength I had. It felt ever chance I had a handle on what was going on around me to catch my breathe, I was plunged back under with something else. That’s when I realized what the enemy was doing. He was taking the smallest thing, whether it was a word, a snide comment, a wrong look, not the right tone, and turning it in to the biggest tool to knock me off track. I can’t tell you how many times I prayed for just a break, for life to go back to normal, and for strength because I was certain I wasn’t strong enough to make it through all this. As quickly as 2020 started and all the things a new year is to bring I was ready for 2020 to be over.
It was precisely at this moment that I cried out to the Lord, praying to hear my heart, give me strength, and to guide me, because without Him I wasn’t going to make it; I was sure of that. As the days went on I began to hear the Lord speak to my heart in His still small voice. He began to drop bible verses and songs in my heart that brought me peace. A peace so great that it radiated off of me to those around me; my family, my kids, my friends, and my customers. It was totally an awe of God moment for me. The verse that got me through it all though was Proverbs 4:23, “above all else heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Wow, what a powerful verse for such a difficult and dark time in my life. It dawned on me that when your heart is guarded and filled with the love of the Lord, you may get discouraged or overwhelmed; that is totally normal! BUT the spirit of the Lord is right there to help you up, brush you off, fill you up, and get you back on the path He has laid out for you. That even though you are going through something that makes you question everything or what you think might just kill you, there is a bigger picture. You may not see the big picture or understand the when, what, and why but God works everything together for His good, you just have to trust the process.
I leave you with this friends, no matter what you are going through the Lord is with you. He has you in the palm of His hands carrying you through this difficult time. Whatever you are going through pain, loss, suffering, marriage issues, disrespectful children, keep pushing through. Lean in to the Lord and He will carry you through, all you have to do is trust Him and keep your heart guarded. I promise you it does get better.; this too shall pass.